As a first-generation Peruvian daughter growing up in America, I never saw myself represented when I was younger. No one ever told me my nose was too wide, or my hair was frizzy, or that my glasses were ugly, but I felt ugly.
I grew up with barbies that didn’t look like me and idolized cover models with long straight hair. I remember watching The Princess Diaries, where there was a makeover scene, and remember thinking to myself, “wait a minute, I look like the before picture- frizzy hair, glasses and all — why was that considered ugly?”
Then I grew into my awkward pre-teen years, and I just wanted to hide and not be seen by anyone. I was so ashamed of my Peruvian features and tried so hard to be a “pretty girl” — I cringe when I think back to the times I wanted to look like everyone else. I wasted so much time trying to live up to eurocentric beauty standards that I was never going to be able to achieve. I would wake up at 5 am to straighten my long hair and do a full face of makeup in middle school just to look like the girls I’d see on social media like Instagram and Tumblr.
Now, at some point in my early 20’s, I’ve learned to unlearn everything I believed as a child. Media, in general, has evolved to embrace representation and diversity, especially in the fashion industry. But the work is not done yet; the conversation doesn’t stop by just having one token POC model as the face of a campaign. It’s time to abandon the idea of any feature that doesn’t fit the “beauty standards” is less attractive and start accepting that what is considered beautiful is whatever that means to you.
It is easier said than done. Learning to love yourself is a journey. I’ve learned it is easier not to have a set goal because there are days where I feel less confident. Nothing is linear. Trust the process.
Words and Graphic by Daniela Guevara