Conformity's Curse: A Senior Collection by Emily Knoettner.

Tell me a little bit about the concept of your senior collection.

My collection is called Conformity’s Curse and it is all about the masks we wear. Often people feel the need to hide certain parts of themselves away in order to fit into society for fear of not being accepted. I’m sure you can imagine this collection is extremely personal to me. I grew up with learning disabilities and mental health issues since I was very young and made it my life mission to suppress and confine myself to be accepted. I hid for so long that I lost who I was and came to feel afraid of the darkness and demons within me. When it came to my senior year, they said “pick something you’re so passionate about that you could stick with it for a year.” At that moment, I realized I had no idea who I was or what I cared about because I had spent my life consumed by the idea of perfection. My mask was no longer my protection but my prison. This collection was my mission to face my demons as I enter into a new stage of my life and find beauty in my darkness. Through telling my story, I hope that I can inspire and empower others to accept themselves as they are and know that they are not alone.

What was it like to develop this concept during the fall?

I still remember sitting at my desk, sketchbook in front of me, pouring my heart out onto these pages. I had never allowed myself to access these parts of myself before, and truthfully, it was terrifying; I felt so vulnerable. Sometimes we detach ourselves from the emotions of traumatic or painful events because it would be too overwhelming to face them before we are ready. I finally found myself ready, but that didn’t make it easier. As artists, we are constantly second-guessing the power of our voices and asking ourselves, “who cares?” The whole time I was working, I kept saying, “this isn’t a concept, this is just a dark sob story, who would want to see this?” But then I realized that the shame and guilt I felt were the exact reason I had to see this through. The purpose of my concept was not to discredit anyone else’s struggles but to validate my and everyone else’s emotions and feelings. I truly believe that, no matter what career we follow, on some level, our goal should be to leave this world and those who inhabit it better than we found it. It doesn’t matter what industry you are in, but especially for artists, I believe it is not only a privilege and honor but a responsibility to make emotional and intellectual change within this world. Fashion is merely the vessel in which I have decided to do this. Art forms are vessels of things so much deeper than written language or verbal communication. They are compositions of meaning, each piece surmounting to a whole that leaves the viewer better than it found them. That is my drive and my purpose; to create art that influences and leaves the viewers better than before.

Did you ever reach a point where you felt stuck, or the designs that you sketched just weren’t translating to your physical garment?

Absolutely! In a perfect world, everything would be so clear and the process would seamlessly flow from one thing to the next, but life isn’t perfect; it’s messy. There are so many factors that go into the final looks of a collection; color, silhouette, design details, etc. Each component must perfectly balance the others within a look and the collection as a whole while also relating back to your concept and research. No pressure, right? I think the main focus for me was “how can I make my audience feel something?” The thing that drew me to fashion in the first place was my realization of the symbiotic relationship between garment and wearer. I became enthralled by the endless possibilities of telling a story through clothes. Fashion is not merely cloth on the skin; it is a multi-dimensional artistic performance of expression. It has the power to strip one of their perceptions of the world and open a looking glass into a completely new perspective. That is what I wanted to bring to my viewers; a new perspective on empathy, compassion, mental health and self-love. I had to challenge myself to step outside of my perfectionist tendencies and step into the messiness of life to find beauty in the darkness.

What was it like being sponsored by Swarovski?

When I was young, my family would visit my Oma in Saint Martin every summer. We would go into the market, and I always looked forward to visiting the Swarovski store. I would save up all my money to buy a single charm for my charm bracelet throughout the year. It was my princess bracelet; every time I put it on, I felt like I was the most beautiful little girl in the world and it gave me the confidence to hold my head high. Never in a million years did I think this incredible company that I cherished so much would one day be a sponsor of my senior collection. I felt like I was opening a treasure box every time I got a package from them. And I can’t talk about the crystals without mentioning my amazing friend, Morgan Perry, who spent long nights helping me apply the crystals. I think the application process was as beautiful as the outcome, watching the garments come to life through the illumination of the crystals. My collection was all about finding beauty in the darkness, and through the use of the Swarovski crystals, I feel it was the final touch for what I wanted to say with my garments. It was a true honor.

Do you have any advice for the next batch of seniors making their collection?

Listen to your voice. You will get a lot of opinions from many people; professors, industry professionals, family and friends. I think the biggest thing I learned was how to take things with a grain of salt and pick and choose what resonated with me at the end of the day. This is your collection. Appreciate everyone’s input for what it is, and have confidence in your voice. You have worked so hard to get to where you are; recognize that. It’s not about being right, but rather, it’s about going to sleep at night knowing that you can stand strong behind your work. No one will know your collection and vision more than you, and when you graduate, no one will have to live with your collection more than you. Go into your senior year being happy and proud when all is said and done, and allow that to guide your decisions.

Do you think your senior collection has prepared you for your post-grad career?

I’m a firm believer that skills can be taught, but passion is something you must find within yourself. I may not know everything yet, but I don’t want to know everything; that would make life very boring! But what this collection gave me was the gift of believing in myself. I remember making my first muslin in the fall quarter; I chose to make my most complex look, the showstopper checkered dress, to challenge myself and prepare myself for what was to come. I remember trying it on a model for the first time and crying. For the first time in my life, I thought, “wow, maybe my dreams aren’t as far away as I thought.”