The Gay Agenda: The Straight Gay Boyfriend

Recently, the media (particularly the internet, film, and television) has been loving all things gay. This has consequently done a lot in terms of giving gay narratives more public exposure. But has it given gays an actual platform and and meaningful representation? To some of you it may not be surprising to hear me call out this alleged representation as performative and unhelpful. I just do not believe that making movies where straight men earn accolades playing in the role of a gay man is giving accurate representation to the actual and real male homosexual community. 

This Hollywood treatment isn’t progressive, it’s really nothing more than just making the concept of homosexuality more present within the media, and honestly, what good is that if these “queer stories” aren’t honest and accurate depictions of queer stories? The clutter of these “gay” stories is just pushing gay actors away from serious roles in favor of casting a more marketable heterosexual or straight-passing actor to max out ticket sales, and minimizing the actual gays they are supposedly championing into shallow, under-baked, comic reliefs, and that is not a realistic representation of this community at all. Ultimately, it’s creating an uncomfortable situation for gay men. One where their stories are used as backgrounds for whichever metrosexual, it-boy, indie-darling, the world and its viewers are feverishly excited about.

Is this harmful? Some may argue that this creates an environment that enables straight men to play less into traditional gender roles. They can feel more at ease to lean into their femininity and shed their macho skin, but truthfully, I couldn’t care less. Like not even remotely. As a gay man myself, it is exhausting to have been relentlessly mocked and ridiculed by straight boys from my childhood for being too girly. So seeing them backtrack feels a bit like an appropriation of sorts. It’s like stolen valor. Suddenly one of the bros is being rewarded for an act of radical bravery without even actually having to live with the reality of not being masculine enough. This isn’t me asking to be rewarded for being a “sissy”, it’s just frivolous to make a big deal about how feminine or masculine any individual is, especially if the individual is of the same group as the people that created and uphold the rigid standards of what a boy should be like. Seriously, where is this act of bravery? Is Chad going to hate crime Tyler for being “sus” for fame, a paid role, and a prestigious award? I think not. Is it realistic to be wary of expressing homosexuality in public settings, or god forbid just having a same-sex partner, for fear of being hate crimed? I think so.

Putting these actors on a pedestal as change makers (for doing their job of acting) is just continuing the marginalization of the gay community. The whole arrangement is backwards, but, really, when isn’t it? When haven’t gay men been depicted as sassy and shrill diva-worshipping henchmen in stylish outfits. The issue of misrepresentation (or maybe more fittingly, mis-visibility) affects the gay community on a less existential, but still negative, level. The harm caused by the inadvertent dehumanization of real gay men is compounding with the fetishization of homosexual male characters. This is an issue that has been touched on since Call Me By Your Name was released in 2017. When Hollywood ceaselessly depicts gay men with straight heartthrobs and hunks it creates an interesting, but uncomfortable, dynamic between straight women and gay men.

I am going to bring in another pop culture example to paint the picture. There is a particularly annoying TikTok sound that goes as follows: “I want two boyfriends and I want the boyfriends to be boyfriends…”. But while it may seem innocuous at first, it becomes a bit more dubious when you experience the overwhelming litter of that phrase being repeated in every comment section of every video on the internet that shows two men of any level of relative attractiveness interacting. More than just being annoying, it’s freaky being a human that happens to be homosexual, and having an awareness that an aspect of myself (which is usually inconsequential in my day-to-day) is being fetishized. And what is definitely not helping is the amount of gay couples on the internet that play into this odd trope. Even straight men have begun a weird hybrid of virtue-signaling and clout-chasing by playing into this new market. That is obviously completely inappropriate, and I would encourage anyone who has read this far to take any animosity they had for straight actors in gay roles and turn that to the bros on tiktok acting gay for clout instead. At the most base level, I am just over seeing people on the internet (and in real life) describe any relationships where there is a girl and some guys as “my Challengers” (I swear I really do love Luca Guadagnino, but maybe it is time to prioritize casting more gay men in leading role). At this point, content about gay men is no longer actually made for, or speaking to, gay men. It all just panders (a bit too pornographically) to a fujoshi audience, painting a totally shallow and inaccurate portrait of a diverse and undefinable community. 

It should be no surprise that this is how male homosexuality is being treated within the media. The term, or perhaps cliche, “art imitates life” already offers an explanation for this issue. If we exist within a reality where it is not normalized or even completely safe and inconsequential to be a homosexual then why would homosexuals be depicted openly and honestly in art? If there is growing animosity towards, and even attempts to eradicate the existence and legitimacy of the gay community, then why wouldn’t the gay characters we see on screen be overwhelmingly un-gay and developed for the pleasure of straight girls? But in the grand scheme of our volatile political climate, this issue of making gay males sexually satisfying to the wrong audiences is effectively trifling. If there is anything that needs to be remembered from this dissertation, it is the following simple message: It is way past time to start viewing, not just gay men, but the entire LGBTQIA+ community as typical human beings, as we are typical human beings. The endless dismissals and downplaying of Queer figures, cultures, and stories is legitimately the last thing that the Queer community needs to be wrestling with at current. It would do incomprehensible good in opening the minds of a misguided and misinformed public to portray all things Queer with dignity, weight, and humanity. Visibility is just not enough, and as anyone reading this is undeniably a human being, please be merciful, supportive, and, at bare minimum, respectful of your fellow humankind. 

Words By Benjamin Pulka

Graphic by Aubrey Laser