The wedding day. A day deemed “the happiest day of our lives” and one we are expected to prepare for the most. With the rise of social media especially, the glorification of weddings has only increased. Although women are now making their own decisions about their marriage, people that choose to partake in a wedding ceremony are still fighting outrageous societal standards.
Despite its popularity now, the Western woman didn’t always wear a white wedding dress. Of course, the color and style are influenced by culture and traditions, but for the most part, Western women are expected to wear a long, white wedding dress. Previously, wealthy women wore gold or blue wedding dresses, and everyone else wore whatever was the nicest dress in their wardrobe. It wasn’t until 1840, when Queen Victoria married Prince Albert in a white wedding dress, that the color became the standard.
Interestingly, Queen Victoria wore her wedding dress for multiple other occasions after her wedding already took place, which is an unfathomable concept for the modern-day woman. Now, it has become normal for a bride to spend an outrageous amount of money on her wedding dress just for it to be worn once. If this wasn’t expensive enough, within the last few years, brides are not only expected to spend a large amount of money on a wedding dress but also on a reception dress for the party after the ceremony.
I find myself reflecting on this. When my mother got married, she wore one wedding dress. It was something she and my grandmother worked hard to save for, so the thought of purchasing a second dress seems extravagant. Today, however, every bride is posting TikToks showing their shopping process for picking out the two or three dresses they will need for their big day. Spending thousands of dollars on two dresses that will be worn for two hours each is hard to understand. If this is my big day, why do I have to buy multiple dresses in order to fit into societal expectations? There shouldn’t be a right and wrong way to have a wedding.
Especially since the start of the pandemic, demanding women to supply the funds to meet all of society’s wedding expectations seems more than unreasonable. Women to this day are still fighting incredibly hard for their basic human rights. Now their wedding decisions have been made for them, too?
If you find your wedding If you find today that it doesn’t “fit within society’s unruly standards, that’s okay. Society isn’t the one getting married. We should take this as a sign to divorce from societal standards and relieve ourselves from outrageous wedding-day pressures. Let’s leave the stress to the mother-in-law.
Words by Amanda Applebaum
Graphic by Aarushi Menon.