A Homosexual Harvest Time

Drink of choice: 

Dirty Chai. Sounds so wrong, tastes so right. If you want to Caitlin Covington it up I’d suggest finding a local coffee shop that makes a (spicy) apple chai-der. And remember, the bluer the hair, the better the drink… 

What to wear: 

In general, it’s my honest belief that we all need to take a step back, go to a mirror, and get real. Doing too much is gaggy in a bad way. Just be practical and chill. There’s a lot to be said for maintaining the principle of economy in personal style: how can you convey your essence with as little frivolity as possible? I think it’s wise to keep in mind that you can choose striking silhouettes OR bold patterns. It doesn’t have to be both at the same time unless you really know what you’re doing, or, even better, just don’t care! Just be mindful of who you actually are. 

A snack to pack: 

I’m a massive fan of nuts-and-berries types of snacking —especially if you’re on the go. There’s something so chic about pulling out a reusable container filled with granola or trail mix from a messenger bag. There are offerings and flavors for literally any palate, and it’s actually nutritious and might hold you over until your next meal. It also always seems to surprise people when they see me breaking out my trail mix, and who doesn’t love the element of surprise?

Listening: 

Get into some deep cuts from your favorite artists. Look at Ethel Cain’s criminally under-appreciated projects “Carpet Bed EP” and “Golden Age” (I’m gatekeeping my unreleased picks though). The best Records for fall have to be atmospheric and vaguely haunting. Try these:

• -“The Kick Inside” by Kate Bush 
• -“Blue Bell Knoll” by the Cocteau Twins
• -“For Melancholy Brunettes (and Sad Women)” by Japanese Breakfast
• -“Don Juan’s Reckless Daughter” by Joni Mitchell
• -“American Football” by American Football
• -“Cry EP” by The Sundays 
• -“Married in Mount Airy” by Nicole Dollanganger
• -“Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe In You” by Big Thief

Grooming: 

Fall is all about looking spooky and/or rugged. Grow that hair out sis. I think flows for fall are kind of everything. The messier the better. Fall should be about anti-grooming. Don’t look stifled and stiff. Five o’clock shadows are best when it starts getting dark by then. Look a mess before the seasonal depression hits. Maybe it can be motivation for cleaning up later, or maybe it creates a nice grace period for transition. Whatever floats your boat.

Productivity (ew): 

Whenever autumn rolls around I get extra obsessed with domestic spaces: everything to do with houses, homemaking, and housekeeping. Get into floral arrangements (you can thrift a frog for so cheap and forage outside for literally anything to arrange- soooo economical). Be on top of your laundry. Keep that house clean and smelling good. Just because it’s spooky season doesn’t mean your sink has to be freaky, too. It’s better to pick up the slack now, because then when spring rolls around you’re already on business. If you don’t think you’re cut out for that life then honestly just watching a lot of HGTV hits the spot, too. 

Reading: 

I’ve been on an audiobook kick because I’m a busy guy, but I think collections of short stories are great fall reading because you can sit with that warm chai-der I mentioned earlier and savor the nippy air. The brevity of a short story effortlessly creates a beautiful moment that doesn’t drag too long. It ends before the performative reading session gets awkward and your hands get cold and you forget about the drink you paid too much for. For light reading, I’d recommend Tish Wienstock’s “How to be a Goth: Notes on Undead Style”, which is very seasonal. Joan Didion’s “Slouching Towards Bethlehem” was a fantastic collection of essays. And for a more freaky and fascinating selection, I would recommend “Homesick for Another World” by Ottessa Moshfegh.

Navigating streaming: 

If you’re looking for something spooky I’d recommend watching the three versions of Nosferatu, duh. But if you don’t want to sit through subtitles and vampires then I think fall is really for thrillers more than slashers. I absolutely love the following 10:

• -“Possession” (1981)
• -“The Crush” (1993)
• -“Suspiria” (2018)
• -“Jennifer’s Body” (2009)
• -“Bodies Bodies Bodies” (2022)
• -“A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night” (2014)
• -“Persona” (1966)
• -“Creep” (2014)
• -“I Married a Witch” (1942)
• – “The Lighthouse” (2019)